Shattering the Fog and the Grace Jones Rant
They tell you the fog lifts slowly, like a morning mist. They’re wrong. On Day 25, it didn’t lift—it shattered.
For weeks, I’d been stuck in this frantic, erratic loop, obsessing over algorithmic gauges and social media numbers like they actually meant something. I thought I was failing. I thought I was losing my grip. But then it clicked: this wasn’t me failing; this was just the withdrawal screaming. My brain was throwing a tantrum because it wanted its chemical fix, and I was letting it distract me with data points.
Once I realized that, the loop broke. The static cleared.
And what’s the first thing you do when you can finally think straight? You purge the nonsense. I took all that frustration and turned it into a 'Cathartic Brick'—a twelve-second video declaration of independence. I scored it to Grace Jones, because that’s exactly what I’d been: a 'Slave to the (Algo) Rhythm.' I was letting the metrics and the numbers dictate my mood, but no more. The loop is broken.
I’ve also stopped playing the social media game. The “congratulations” notifications from the platforms used to feel like a hit of dopamine, but now I see them for what they are: just behavioural cues designed to keep me hooked. I’m triaging that noise away. I don’t need the metrics to validate the struggle.
On Day 23, I saw a clean metric: eight unique readers. Eight real people, not just me refreshing the page. That’s my foundation. That’s the “Shed” starting to reach out to the world.
The work of repair is usually silent, but yesterday, it was loud. The fog is gone for now, and for the first time in a while, I’m working in the light.
#cannabiswithdrawaltimeline #neuroplasticity #recovery #thedamproject