I Can See For Miles
As you will know by now, some days there’s not really much to write about. Today is not one of those days. The last twenty four hours have probably been the best I’ve been since…well forever I reckon.
The day started normally. I logged my stats, had a coffee, and sat down to tackle the project work. Usually, this involves a rigid sequence: copy-paste logs to Substack, format entries, update social pages, then record the podcast. But yesterday, I broke the pattern and recorded the podcast first. Halfway through editing, I noticed the weather. The grass was needed cutting, but the motorbike - sitting idle since September - was in the way.
Normally, the prospect of moving the bike, prepping it, and then mowing the lawn would trigger enough “angst” to paralyse me for the rest of the day. But yesterday? The objective was clear, the “angst” was missing, and the friction simply wasn’t there. I did it. No hassle, no stress, just done. Then I finished the project work.
Born To Be Wild (and productive)
The bike is always a bit “sticky” after the winter park up so I filled it with fresh fuel to ensure any moisture that had built up over the last six months was burnt up and after a few miles it was purring away like a very contented cat. I was out for a glorious sixty minute run just bobbing about the countryside in no particular direction, I didn’t even feel the need to go nuts with the speed, I just enjoyed it for what it was.
When I returned I parked it up in the car park, went into the garden, cut the grass then returned the bike to it’s normal spot in the corner.
When I logged with the scaffold that the clarity was probably the best I’d had yet I didn’t know if it was completing the tasks that gave me the clarity or was it the clarity that allowed me to complete the tasks.
Clarity enables action. Action reinforces clarity.
Or is it a loop? Clarity enables action. Action reinforces clarity. The loop spins.
What’s different today: The absence of friction. Not just clarity. Not just action. The smoothness between them.
The bike didn’t just get prepped and ridden. The grass didn’t just get cut. The work didn’t just get done. I moved through it all without a single internal argument.
The venting hasn’t started. But the synchronisation phase may be delivering its first gift: integrated executive function.
All I know is that two jobs that I had mentally been putting off for weeks got done within a few hours, it may not sound much to you but I can assure you, this is a big leap.
It really shows you how messed up a brain can get with prolonged use of what is considered to be a soft drug.
Regulate, Educate, Tax
Don’t get me wrong: I am not "anti-cannabis." I know it is less damaging than alcohol to the individual and society. But my position has solidified: the "damage" from long-term daily use isn't as obvious or acute as other substances, which is exactly why it is so insidious. It doesn't scream at you; it whispers, slowly eroding your executive function until "doing the dishes" feels like scaling Everest.
This is precisely why the Map exists: to document not just the acute withdrawal, but the long, often invisible arc of cognitive repair. To a non-user, the fact that I mowed a lawn might seem like a 'nothingburger,' but to anyone currently fighting that same daily friction, I suspect a lightbulb just went on.
Actually recently on social media I have seen so called experts argue that cannabis does no cognitive damage at all, 110 days of repair says otherwise.
As I’ve said before: Regulate, Educate, Tax.
#cannabiswithdrawal #PAWS #neuroplasticity #cognitiverepair #recoveryjourney