The Peaks and Troughs of Anhedonia
Talk about travel sickness. I’m really starting to feel despondent now. One minute I think I might be getting somewhere, and then it feels like I am further back than ever. Such is the nature of the biological gaslighting happening in my head right now.
The AI Scaffold doesn’t make this bit easy, but it certainly makes it easier by:
Giving me the science: Explaining why I feel like a hollowed-out shell.
Giving me a destination: A place to go when I hit rock bottom.
The Conductivity Protocol
One bit of good news is that it looks like our little experiment actually works - and we found it totally by accident. What we’ve discovered is that if you preload your system with high-fat/salt fuel and wash it down with a litre of an electrolyte-based drink (in my case, pizza and Lucozade Sport) last thing at night, there are practically no somatic symptoms in the morning.
We have run the experiment twice now, and both times the result was the same: no grogginess, no flu-like symptoms, and a steady mood. Sadly, nobody can eat pizza every night, but it’s a massive piece of recovery gold. The Conductivity Protocol can now be found in the Tools Section of the website; at least that’s something useful to come out of this phase of the journey.
You Spin Me Right Round, Baby
Other than that, there’s not much to tell you - up, down, backwards, forwards. The only reason I’m still reasonably optimistic is that, thanks to my previous alcohol cessation, I know the dopamine is literally just around the corner.
Actually, something just clicked as I sit here typing: today is Friday. This would have been my trigger day for the “double reward” (alcohol and cannabis). It’s strange that up until the last few weekends, it hasn’t really bothered me. But that’s the whole point of the Eight-Week Wall, and why it’s claimed so many casualties in the past. It’s the point where the old ghosts come back for one last haunt.
Hopefully, this project will go some way in letting other cessationists know what’s coming and offer a little hope in surviving this inhospitable terrain.
The march through the wall continues; (insert something profound here... eventually).
#cannabiswithdrawaltimeline #anhedonia #PAWS ##neuroplasticity