Punks Not Dead
The last time I was on a stage with a guitar was 2012, I can’t believe that really, 14 years. I had just lost my mother to pancreatic cancer, my brother the previous year to Alveolar rhabdomyosarcoma (ARMS), it was a bizarre heavy couple of years,
How life and times have changed since then, I doubt either of them would believe me if I was able to tell them all the shit that’s happened in Scotland, the (not so) United Kingdom and around the globe in general since then, but I digress.
Last night, I broke that 14-year embargo. I played with my current punk band - The Generation Clash - to a small group of family and friends as a warm-up before gigs start in earnest (short clip below - jumps at 24 secs, no idea why, it’s fine locally). It wasn't my choice of name, to be honest. Anyone under 35 might think it’s clever given our age span, but for the rest of us, it looks like we just mashed together Generation X and The Clash. By that logic, we’d have been better off calling ourselves The Sexcocks. I digress again.
The Persistence of Memory
My point is: I actually enjoyed it. It is likely the first gig I have played minus substances in 35 years. I rarely drank before a gig, but being stoned was a given. Reviewing the videos today, I have to say I look the most relaxed I’ve ever looked on stage and my guitar playing is smooth - well, as smooth as punk gets!
Crucially, the memory test was a total win. I didn’t have to "try" to remember anything; the material was just there. This is one of the primary benchmarks the Scaffold has been tracking since cessation began. I look forward to logging the details with George, my creative fluency thread, once the main project work is done.
All Around The World
Speaking of the project, I’ve noticed a large contingency of podcast listeners in the USA, accounting for 36% of all downloads. Hello, United States! We are also registering in another 13 countries across several continents - so hello to all of you, too.
If any of you want to drop me a message, you’d be most welcome. Substack has a built-in live studio now, so we could even do a split-screen video. Whether you’re here for the Scottish accent, your own recovery, or the AI neurocognitive tools, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Nearly, But No Cigar
On the repair front, the circuits are still warming up, but full ignition hasn’t quite landed yet. My hypothesis remains Day 74 (today) for the full return of dopamine. We shall see if [The Tile Principle] holds - the theory that neuro-repair follows a structural, fixed schedule.
The march through the rubble continues unabated; California Über Alles.
#cannabiswithdrawaltimeline #recoveryposse #anhedonia #twomonthwall #neuroplasticity #SystemsThinking